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GETTIN’ BUGGY ‘N BUZZED WITH PAT BATTLE ON TODAY NY!

Taped a segment yesterday with my fave NBC WEEKEND TODAY IN NEW YORK HOST Pat Battle

I love ‘spreading the glove’ with Pat even if it means I have to be bright eyed ‘n bushy-tailed before the roosters cockadoodle doo!  She’a such a wonderful human being and a real hoot to work with!  And, she just loved that I got her all grossed out talking about stuff that bugs us…including our hair  and this crazy summer heat wave which is why i’ve given up on coiffing my hair and am doo-ing the quick clip UP DOO.  No muss no fuss! Love that!!

Hope those of you in the tri-state NY, NJ, Connecticut area will tune in next Sunday, and see how with a ‘lil basil, vodka and red wine nuttin was buggin us or will you!  Spread the glove!

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SCUZZA ME THAT ‘S AMORE: MOONSTRUCK IN LEWES, DE

WOW! Where does the time go? I can’t believe it’s May 7th and in two days my baby boy is going to be 18….yikes…pictures to follow!! Today, though i’m finally getting back on the bloggin trail having been quite remiss due to an incredibly busy/whirlwindy kind of month…So let’s see, where doth this accidental one’s month retrospective start….

In Lewes, Deleware where on a unusually warm April Day my loving matey and I set sail on the Cape May/Lewes ferry with bubbly in hand to help calm the somewhat choppy Delaware Bay seas Arrrrrr 😉 We were on our way there for a few reasons:  1) we love Lewes.  2) we love Lewes 3) we love Lewes 🙂  It’s a quaint town that unless you take the ferry from Cape May might never stumble upon as it seems to be the forgotten sister to better known ReHoboth Beach, DE.  Lewe’s main street, Second Street,  is about 1/2 mile long but on it you’ll find just about everything one needs/wants…A great Mexican restaurant -Agave, a continental one- The Buttery; a fab jewelry store: Chatelaine’s and Doug and my fave place TOUCH OF ITALY http://www.touchofitaly.com/ which is owned by Joe and Bob the Builder (not to be confused with Bob of Nickolodeon fame!).  It’s a spot where we have spent much wine (and no that is NOT a typo!) and time.

We discovered it a couple of months ago as we were walking along Second Street and spotted what looked like those good ole fashion Italian delis you saw in The Sopranos, Moonstruck (one of my top ten movie faves)

or imagine in Italy.

So we went inside and if our eyes could eat we would have devoured everything in sight …Italian cheeses hanging from the ceiling, fresh mozz in the case, an array of heart don’t fail me after eating those fatty, yummy italian meats and sausages, marinated artichoke hearts on stems, seafood salad complete with squid that had their tentacles in tact (love them!), authentic Italian desserts and on and on..

Mama Mia…That’s Amore! Yum!!!

But our delight and surprise didn’t stop there when out of the corner of my eye I saw folks sitting at tables eating these incredible italian sandwiches and brick oven pizzas that i would soon forget watching my girlish figure for! And, it got even better:  set in the far back corner of this cozy epicurean oasis I saw a bar… now that’s amore!

Doug and I immediately planted ourselves on two stools and per Henry’s suggestion (Henry runs the place and I am thinking of kidnapping him to take care of us) we ordered what he considered to be the best white wine in the world; a true antipast,  meatballs, then a bottle of red wine and 3 hours, 3 pounds, one major buzz and one pair of early anniversary diamond and sapphire earrings later  from my amore D we exito-d.  Now you know why we love, love, love Lewes. Spread the glove!

STEAMIN’, PREENIN’ AND ALL THINGS SPRING CLEANIN’

Happy 152 Pony Express Birthday!  Who’d have thunk horses would some day by left in the postal dust n dirt for email and tweeting!  Speaking of dust and dirt here I am rehearsing for a TV tour tomorrow with some terrific companies I’m working with to help us get rid of dust and dirt like:

  • Stanley Steemer whom I’ve now got on speed dial since I’ve also discovered they not only deep clean and sanitize carpets but also hardwood floors, upholstery, tile and grout,
  • My buds at TIDE and their oh so cool new single unit dose Tide Pods which are idiot and mess proof and can be used in a HE or non HE washing machine
  • LG and their new LG TurboWash Washing Machine which will save us 20 minutes per load EVEN on large loads …and with us averaging nearly 400 loads a laundry per year think about all the free time we’ll gain…LOVE THAT!

And, Chase’s Freedom card is gonna help us earn 5% back on up to $1500 through June when I shop for my spring cleaning supplies or anything else I buy at the grocery store.

Oh, yeah I’m also gonna get a makeover…Mobile Makeover that is courtesy of Radio Shack…where you can trade in your old working phone for anywhere from $30-300 instantly for store credit…Think it’s time to pony up and express myself with a new iPhone 4S!  … Hope you’ll tune in!

Spread the glove!

LIFTIN’ N LIGHTIN’ UP WITH LONG LOST DEBBIE BOONE

There I was earlier today, lying in bed not having to rush off since it was Saturday and my son’s at his father’s for the weekend so no ‘mom’ what’s for breakfast nor business calls to make.  Nope ‘twas just my remote and me.  So after watching the news, which is always filled with uplifting stories NOT, I decided to surf the channels and find something to lift my spirits given my ‘free’ time.   And, who’d have thunk that I would stumble upon a cable show called Lifestyle Lift!  Seemed like just what the doctor ordered since I’ve been going through some challenging times lately, re-examining what I want to be when I grow up and where since this fall my son’s off to college and for the first time in my life I will be truly all by my lonesome.  Just ‘lil ole me to tend to 24/7 since sadly my parents passed away in the last few years as did my pooch…Yup, I’m gonna be an empty nester which actually is very exciting and given me a new lift on life.  In fact, I’m making a major lifestyle change:  this Momma bird is flying South and into a new nest once I sell my hacienda up yonder…that or I’ll be driving a taxi at nite to pay two mortgages.

Anyway, back to the scheduled paid program Lifestyle Lift…I thought it was going to share how to deal with life changing events like mine or things like a new baby, divorce, financial stuff etc. No sirree!  There on the screen was a pix of a woman that looked like those always flattering driver photos we take that make us either look like a convict or 20 years older.  And, to really create the mood, in the background was this familiar oldie but goodie song playing that I couldn’t quite remember.  That was until I saw the host whom looked faintly familiar and then her name below:  Debbie Boone!  I thought she had gone into Witness Protection.  And, now there was Debbie, front and center asking me “Do you want to turn back the hands of time” …Hell yes! She had me; so I raised the volume up a bit to listen as she talked about wrinkles, frown lines, chicken neck and all things in between.  Then there was that song again only this time she began belting it out live: “You Light Up My Life”. 

I felt like I had tuned into an evangelical meeting! And, to complete the scene, sitting next to Debbie smiling from ear to ear was the woman in the pix, with a halo like glow about her looking 20 years younger (of course).  I was sure any moment she was going to jump off the couch and embrace Debbie shouting, “I believe! I believe! Look at me! Look at Me!

I gotta admit the ‘believer’ looked amazing as did the other woman and men who had what they claim is a non-surgical, no anesthesia required, affordable procedure (does that mean they have an easy payment plan like the As Seen On TV stuff I buy plus shipping and handling of me J).  So I took down the number 1-877-512-6665 (btw not sure it’s toll free) and as soon as I lift myself outta bed I’m gonna call it (yes I’m still in bed writing this!) and will share what I learn…Hmm I wonder if when I’m put on hold they play “You Light Up My Life” or they’ve changed it to “You Lift Up My Life”… could be a comeback for Debbie whom by the way looks terrific…. wonder if she’s seen the ‘light’ and had it done too.  I’ll also let you know if they do butt or boob lifts LOL. Spread the glove!

“ME TARZAN, YOU JANE” MEET WE HOUSEWIVES :)

As the legendary  comediene Phyllis Diller once said, “Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?” Brilliant words indeed.  And, it’s how i approach the level of attention I give to it which in part led me  to embracing and admitting that i am an accidental housewife vs. Martha Stewart or Suzie Home-maker. I’m all about doing just enough to keep my son from starvation; my home looking terrif with minimal upkeep; health inspectors away and lest we not overlook: my sanity and manicure in tact.   That’s why whenever I discover something that also saves me time, money and the environment it’s a tri-fecta and I’m all over it…

Which leads to a new carpet that my buds at Carpet One Floor & Home sent me to try out.  It’s called Tigressa…love the name-somehow conjures up images of ‘me Tarzan you Jane’ lying on the carpet getting wild…or in their case lyin on a Leopard skin:

Okay well maybe that’s a stretch , must be my imagination going wild with a mild case of heat stroke courtesy of the record-breaking warm weather here in the NorthEast!  So forgive my di-gressa from Tigressa 🙂  

Lots of companies send me products to try out, and having worked with Carpet One a few years back and their commitment to Breast Cancer Awareness, I was happy to oblige when Terri Daniels, their head public relations guru, all around terrif person and fellow Dirty Martini lover reached out to me.  That, and two other reasons:

1. I am a humongous slob and notorious/repeat red wine spiller…another reason for my ‘accidental’ moniker!  And, why God created my favorite carpet cleaning service Stanley Steemer whom i now have on speed dial!

2. I am thinking of refinishing my basement and want to be sure I put in carpet that looks good, is soft on my feetsies, durable, affordable and mega stain resistant for my many ‘accidental’ spills…( a reason i am thinking of drinking only clear libations …long live my ‘Tini LOL!)

And, dare I say Tigressa is the besta:

  • Looks terrif-love it’s black since it doesn’t show most any dirt or stain!
  • Soft on my feet and comfy to lie on solo or …
  • Passed the Accidental Spill Test: Though i didn’t do this accidentally, I did spill my fave dirty tini on the rug and to my delight it pooled up making it a housewifely dream to blot and quickly clean up.   That also means moisture won’t get trapped below and possibly cause mold to grow–major sanity saving plus!  

    Look mom! No gloves required...Love that! Back to 'tini time!

  • And, just in case that glass of red leaves a  mark, Tigress comes with  a Lifetime Stain Warrantee (20 years) which means they’ll replace it gratis…love that!
  • Oh one more thing too–it’s eco-friendly!
So my friends, if you’re in the market to do some Spring Freshening of your floors that is also terrif if you’ve got messy kiddies (duh! is their any any other kind) and pets,  visit a Carpet One store (www.carpetone.com/tigressa), take your shoes off, spill some water (or wine if you have your sippy to go cup but don’t tell ’em i told you to!) and see all the 1000 colors and textures Tigressa’s avail in…Not to mention it’s on sale now….BTW, imagining yourself as Tarzan ‘n Jane will be your call…of the wild. Meow!  Spread the glove!

FROM NYC TO NO PLACE TO GO BUT MARS ‘N BETTER TV

Been a ‘better’ few days…so to speak…this week.  For one, i ppeared on BETTER TV with my bud and it’s co-host Audra Lowe.  

home–amp–garden2-home–amp–garden-cleaning-secrets

I always love ‘spreading my glove’ of housewifely wit ‘n wisdom  because of the folks on and off camera and particularly  Audra.  She and I bonded a few years back when she was having her first child and who is THE MOST adorable baby girl.  Audra is one of the real peeps in this world, she is incredibly genuine, always has a welcoming smile and put’s being a human being before anything else.  And, though we see each other half a dozen times a year, when we do it’s like seeing an old friend you’ve grown up with and  seems like no time has passed when we reconnect.  

The other ‘better’ part of the week was that my buds at MamaDramaNY once again invited me to see a quirky yet incredibly timely one man show called “NO PLACE TO GO” at the Public Theatre in NYC…It’s a clever and irreverant musical journey starring Ethan Lipton who is also the show’s creator, writer and chief bottle washer (kidding).  The show’s premise is that Ethan’s company is relocating from New York to Mars…yes Mars and Ethan really doesn’t want to go…can you blame him? But what I enjoyed most about it aside from the scruffy Woody Allen meets Dylan with a better voice Ethan and the amazing base, guitar and sax trio behind him, (forgive I know this is a run on sentence and my college English professor would kill me!) was how he balanced the woes of the economy, politics and personal angst in an entertaining and uplifting way with lines like “Anxiety is just excitement in disguise” to lyrics/songs like “Three Tear Plan” which literally is about his plan to ‘cry, weep, then go to sleep”….

to LOL songs like “Shit Storm Coming”.  

Both funny and philosophical, No Where to Go was tons ‘better’ and far more original then many shows I’ve seen on THE GREAT WHITE WAY so please make your way to this limited run production and support Public Theatre in NY at Joe’s Pub if you’re in town…Food and drinks were terrif there too! Spread the glove! 



I LOVE LUCY, ELLEN DEGENERES, ‘N JCP’S NEW ADS!

I am a huge fan of Ellen Degeneres and have been since her days right before, during and after her ‘coming out of her closet” TV show “ELLEN’ ran from 1994-1998.   She’s funny, bold, smart, sexy in her Ellen D kinda way and I love the joy she gets out of doing her second fave thing ‘dancing’!  

Unfortunately, as a working mom i don’t get to tune in to her current afternoon talk show unless my son or I am home sick, but I did catch her new spots for JC Penney which are a hoot!  They’re really clever and not your same ole retail store ads. For those who haven’t seen them they take Ellen back in time to Ancient Rome to return a toga, to Edwardian London to buy a hat a la My Fair Lady and my personal favorite is when she finds herself in a Lucille Ball like 50’s bedroom setting talking about having to get to store sale at 6 am.  

As much as I’m a huge Ellen fan, I am a huge Lucille Ball fan.  I love how she was always trying to find ways to improve her life while trying to balance home, family, marriage, friendships and a career …sound familiar!!   Thought clearly much funnier then I, I have often been compared to her particularly by my X for my ‘off the wall’ housewifely antics. . . hmm and which in retrospect might have been one of the nicest compliments I got from him 🙂  That said, my accidental housewifely antics and the pink with black ‘n white polka dot gloves I wear in particular are my way of paying homage to her. Any way, seeing Ellen’s spot reminded me of an I Love Lucy excerpt from my book “The Ultimate Accidental Housewife: Your Guide to a Clean Enough House” which I thought i’d share with you as we begin to think about spring cleaning or have a sloppy man or child (who doesn’t!) in your home:

In one episode called “Men are Messy”, Lucy decides to teach Ricky a lesson since she’s tired of him constantly messing up their living room.  

She starts by divindng their apratment into his messy half and her neater half. Then, she takes it a step further by turning their home inta a real pigsty.  What she doesn’t know is that Ricky was bringing home a photographer from LOOK magazine to do a feature about their home and them! Ricky and the photographer enter their home to discover clotheslines hanging in the living room, chickens flying around and garbage everywhere.  And, to top it off, Lucy and her best bud Ethel are dressed in flannel shirts and overalls preparing to  ‘hunt’ for a black bear in Lucy’s bedroom. The photographer took pictures of all this and the good news was, Lucy made it on LOOK’s cover.  The bad news was it showed a shot of Lucy with her bear!   I guess the moral of this story is ” Men are messy so you to bear with them”…LOL! 

By the way I think the next time travel spot JC Penney should have Ellen spoof  is the Doris Day classic “Please Don’t Eat the Daisies” …

That’s fair and square” don’t you think??

Spread the glove!