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JOHNNY CARSON, GARY KASPAROV AND WELLS MOVIN’ ON

Did you know it was 16 years ago today that world champion Chess Player Gary Kasparov lost  the first game of six to Deep Blue—I didn’t either or if I did things from 16 years ago have long been forgotten unless they’re now my 6 ft. 1 inch 17 year ole son.  But the big news about the loss was that Deep Blue was an IBM computer which could figure out over 200 million moves per second.  Nowadays that probably wouldn’t surprise many peeps with all the video games and advances in technology but way back in 1996 it was big news.  In the end Kasparov showed man over machine still ruled and went home with the $400,000 grand prize. 

"Where's the Great Carnac when I need him!"

A brief aside: For those who have never seen any Johnny Carson reruns, The Great Carnac the Magnificient was a character Carson created during his late night reign.  He was an all-knowing mind-or rather closed-envelope-reader offering incredibly funny (and silly) answers without knowing the questions.  Thus why I referenced him since Kasparov could have used his ‘clairvoyance’!

Kasparov and Deep Blue met again in 1997 but this time Deep Blue won in the sixth and final match,  taking home the grand prize of $700,000.  That made me wonder how he spent it…new platinum hard drive, custom fitted, signature corporate IBM garb of white button down shirt and stripe tie?…diamond studded compressed air blower for his chip-mate?  Guess we’ll never know…

 But, I guess you’re wondering why the heck this Accidental Housewife is reminiscing about a chess match with a computer.  Well, today I had my own ‘match’ with a computer. See this morning I went to visit my trusty Wells Fargo ATM.  I put in my card which Wells (he and I are very tight) always readily inhales, then punched in my security code, amount of moula I wanted and par usual, promptly received my card and receipt back.  So off I went…Then as I was driving home I had one of those feelings where you know you’re missing something, but dismissing it as another sneak peak at the memory loss i’ll be experiencing as the years tick on…That was until I went to pay for my bagel and coffee and realized my bud Wells hadn’t given me any money!  Of course I doubted myself over Wells since I often forget things or where I put them,  and after all he is the latest and greatest in technology.  No way he’d make a mistake and not give me my money.   Right?  Wrong!!! I quickly returned to the scene and had the bank stuff abuzz –they even opened Wells up and sure enough my bank mate tried to pull a fast move on me!  Who’d have thunk!  Guess part of the moral here is even what we think is Mr. Smarter then I computer, is fallible so my advice to all of us is: always check…mate! –Wow that is a really really bad pun forgive me, it’s been a really, really long week.

And, hey I do realize this is a truly riveting read- NOT, and how the heck did I make the connection—dunno!   Perhaps like Deep Blue my brain’s capable of going off and connecting more moves then I thought which I know a certain special Scruffy D would more then agree!! Happy almost weekend…Spread the glove! 

DISHWASHIN’ ‘N TANG-O-IN WITH THE BUNDY’S !

I just finished cleaning my dishwasher with my son’s fave drink: Tang!

1. YES, i was cleaning my dishwasher NOT my dishes which is something we all should do to get rid of streaks, rust and other gunk that accumlates in this mani-friendly appliance, AND

2. NO, i’ve not been enjoying an early happy hour!  I actually discovered a while back that TANG and other lemon or orange flavored, powdered drink mixes like COUNTRY TIME LEMONADE are inexpensive, non-toxic home cleaners. Why does it work you may ask??? Well, it’s because of the citric acid in the mix.  So next time you notice any rust or streakin just bring out the TANG (or Country TIme), fill up your dispenser with it and let ‘er run…full cycle please.

Ok, so there’s that, but it also reminded me of something I learned while researching my second book “The Ultimate Accidental Housewife: Your Guide to a Clean Enough House” (and yes you can still find this must have houshold tome on Amazon.com 🙂 So here’s an excerpt of sorts:

Remember the Bundy’s from Fox TV’s hit sitcom, Married With Children?  They were that happy go lucky dysfunctional family that lived in Chicago and attracted millions of viewers for 10 years way back in 1987-1997. For those not familiar:

  • Peggy was an uneducated housewife who looked like a ‘60’s throwback sporting a red bouffant and wore heels that were too high and clothes that were too tight
  • Al was her dim witted husband who sold women’s shoes unsuccessfully (hmmm were shoes Peggy’s attraction?); and they had two kiddies:
  • Bud-who was unpopular, girl crazy and the only Bundy who ever went to college; and
  • Kelly, their sex-crazed, equally dim-witted daughter.

A ‘taste’ of the Bundy’s general dysfunction can be seen in this clip:  

But the one that got my attention when I was researching  my book revolved around Peggy’s culinary skills or lack thereof.   In one episode we learned that the Bundy’s were big Tang fans and hated to let one little granule go to waste. In fact they loved the stuff so much that they would make Tang Sandwiches.  Well one day there wasn’t enough for a whole sandwich so they just took a slice of bread and swiped the sides to create what they lovingly called a ‘Tang Wipe’.  If only the Bundy’s had been around back in 1965, NASA and Gemini’s crew could have enjoyed their spaciness and this yummy recipe too!  Spread the glove…and the TANG 🙂

DISHWASHIN’ ‘N TANG-O-IN WITH THE BUNDY’S !

I just finished cleaning my dishwasher with my son’s fave drink: Tang!

1. YES, i was cleaning my dishwasher NOT my dishes which is something we all should do to get rid of streaks, rust and other gunk that accumlates in this mani-friendly appliance, AND

2. NO, i’ve not been enjoying an early happy hour!  I actually discovered a while back that TANG and other lemon or orange flavored, powdered drink mixes like COUNTRY TIME LEMONADE are inexpensive, non-toxic home cleaners. Why does it work you may ask??? Well, it’s because of the citric acid in the mix.  So next time you notice any rust or streakin just bring out the TANG (or Country TIme), fill up your dispenser with it and let ‘er run…full cycle please.

Ok, so there’s that, but it also reminded me of something I learned while researching my second book “The Ultimate Accidental Housewife: Your Guide to a Clean Enough House” (and yes you can still find this must have houshold tome on Amazon.com 🙂 So here’s an excerpt of sorts:

Remember the Bundy’s from Fox TV’s hit sitcom, Married With Children?  They were that happy go lucky dysfunctional family that lived in Chicago and attracted millions of viewers for 10 years way back in 1987-1997. For those not familiar:

  • Peggy was an uneducated housewife who looked like a ‘60’s throwback sporting a red bouffant and wore heels that were too high and clothes that were too tight
  • Al was her dim witted husband who sold women’s shoes unsuccessfully (hmmm were shoes Peggy’s attraction?); and they had two kiddies:
  • Bud-who was unpopular, girl crazy and the only Bundy who ever went to college; and
  • Kelly, their sex-crazed, equally dim-witted daughter.

A ‘taste’ of the Bundy’s general dysfunction can be seen in this clip:  

But the one that got my attention when I was researching  my book revolved around Peggy’s culinary skills or lack thereof.   In one episode we learned that the Bundy’s were big Tang fans and hated to let one little granule go to waste. In fact they loved the stuff so much that they would make Tang Sandwiches.  Well one day there wasn’t enough for a whole sandwich so they just took a slice of bread and swiped the sides to create what they lovingly called a ‘Tang Wipe’.  If only the Bundy’s had been around back in 1965, NASA and Gemini’s crew could have enjoyed their spaciness and this yummy recipe too!  Spread the glove…and the TANG 🙂

WOOF KATHIE LEE N HODA ‘N BEING ON TODAY SHOW!

Kathie Lee n Hoda always bring me to my knees 🙂

Every time I do a segment on the Today Show with Kathie Lee and Hoda it’s a hoot…and today’s about PET PEEVES was no different.  We laugh, they make fun of me (particularly Kathie Lee) and we almost always find a reason to end with a libation unless of course we’re talking about kid-related stuff…Then it’s simply understood that you might like or need to have a glass of vino at day’s end to help us through our hectic mommy schedules!

 Today, I shared how the oohs, aahs and cuteness of that new puppy or kitty you lost your mind over and brought home over the holidays has now evolved into a blend of not so cute poop, pee, hair and odors…oh my!  And, I shared some of my simple money saving tips to clean and deodorize using everyday household items like white vinegar, baking soda, toothpaste (non-gel), Hydrogen peroxide, and Listerine;  Bounce fabric dryer sheets and cat litter to absorb smells (and btw cat litter is a terrif moisture absorber beyond the litter box since it can suck up to 15x it’s weight-sorry it doesn’t work on our bodies J); how to get rid of fur on furniture and floors using mani-friendly rubber gloves (dampened) or double-stick tape on a paint roller; and ended by sharing a great way to save our sanity post clean-up while also helping pets in need:  drinking Les Compagnons wines which give a percentage back to four pet charities… Fun, informative stuff which you can enjoy in its entirety should you wish (glass of vino optional!) by clicking here:


I also thought you might be interested to see some of this accidental housewife’s behind the scenes,  shot courtesy of my very own Speilberg and manager Kevin. BTW, have some video too but still figuring out how to get it to play so that’ll be for another day!

And BIG, BIG woofs go out to HENRY, our lovable pooch n the real star of the segment and Susan,  my amazing producer and Henry’s mom xo

 As always if you have any pet peeves you wanna ask about, share a tip, trick or tale about please do so here on my blog, facebook or tweet moi! Spread the glove!

Today's Star "Henry" woof him!

Henry's fab mom n my producer, Susan!

  

Restin' assure all's good to go...forgive pun!

RARE MOODS AND HORMONE’S RAGING

Happy Friday eve!  I’m now sipping a glass of vino toasting the week gone by which like all of them seems to fly.  Actually, I thought I’d be out to dinner with my son and we ‘d catch up versus him devouring my homemade morsels in 10 minutes so he can go up and watch Family Guy, GOLF CHANNEL (I think I’ve told you he’s an aspiring college bound in fall 2012 professional golfter) or Two and Half Men repeats (and by the way I love how they integrated Ashton Kutchner into the new season—it’s brilliant…and yes, I also think he’s incredibly cute though a few more muscles and chest hair would make him …..oops wine must be hitting me…topic for another day!)

Anyway, I’m thrilled that Luke and I are close, and that he actually enjoys going out to dinner and having a ‘real conversation’.  I’m sure if you’re a parent you get how challenging that is particularly as kids get older, grunt more then speak (unless they need money), and think you’re sooo weird.  Going out to dinner is ‘our time’ and we usually go to a local Italian place called Cenzino’s where we’ve dined at since Luke’s 8.  It’s sorta become my Cheers since the owner Vinnie always greets u with a smiling face and ‘rare mood’ which means he needs another drink…But kidding aside he keeps an eye on all his regulars, aware when they’re going through something.  As was my case when I went through the different stages of my divorce-He was a true friend. 

But tonight my good ole bud Vinnie and I were not to be.  Instead I’m ordering Chinese food for Luke and I… and did I mention his girlfriend…enough said…clearly not gonna be much ‘real conversation’ betwixt us.  But with hormones raging and now both feeling better, I choose to stay close vs enjoying one of Vinnie’s rare moods or picking food up to go.  This way both her parents and I can have a ‘real conversation’ about how I fed their daughter well and how I think she’s terrific -which she is when they pick her up …. Doorbell’s ringing …food’s here and time for another glass of vino!

And you? How’s your Friday eve? Teenage kids? Chilling with a glass of vino? Share please here, tweet me @accidentlhousewfe.com or tweet! Spread the glove!

JUST ANOTHER MANIC FRIDAY!

k so it’s now almost 8 est and I AM XHAUSTED! Did have a brief break courtesy of my significant other LU D  🙂 But betwixt TODAY SHOW on Monday, INSTYLE mag interview and all my housewifely chores that  bore majority of us and as tired as this lass is wanted to say hi!  Also wanted to share this AOL post to help as you start wining/whining and entertaining this holdiay season. And, as always PLEASE SHARE  any and all ideas you have for this blog and other stuff i’m working on cause u are the real tipsters!.  

http://www.aol.com/video/youve-got-julie-edelman/517218833/

Oh yeah, also had my son’s girlfriend here this eve for the first time…never met here before and it’s sorta a strange cool feeling… She is terrific – makes me think of teenage days when i first entered the dating world though my mother would have never let me have a guy over for two reasons 1. he might make footprints on her pristine beige rug in the living room 2. no one in her mind was good  enough for me==DAMN good thing i spent 20K in therapy to get over that!! Another topic for another day when i’m not about to slip into dream world! Anyway, my one and only most adored son is 17 n off to college next year and fortunately he knows where  he’s going  since he’s an amazing golfer and Bucknell University swapped him up pronto…Thank ye gods for he and me we don’t have to wait months n indulge in too many dirty martinis to know he’s all set!  Forgive me if i boast but he’s worked sooooo hard and i am so proud of him and believe he will achieve whatever dream he goes after.. Any of those who have seniors know it’s a stressful year for all and not dealing with the angst of it is a beautiful thing though please note i am still enjoying a dirty martini LOL! Any how my  fellow housewives i’m gonna cut this short, thank u for sharing some ideas for Monday TODAY SHOW w/kathie lee n hoda. Tune in please! Now off to chill.  Keep sharing your amazing ideas here, tweet me at @accidentlhswife.com or facebook …Happy weekend!  Spread the glove…zzzzzzzzzzzz