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NEW YORK, NEW YORK IT’S A HELLUVA TOWN THIS ‘N EVERY MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND!

New York, New York it’s a HELLUVA town! Just like Frank Sinatra, Gene Kelly and Jules Munshin sung in the 1944 classic movie “On the town” …well actually they sang it was a ‘wonderful town’ since they had to ‘clean up’ the lyrics for the movie version…times sure have changed eh!

For those of you who’ve not seen this gem on TCM as I have since clearly I was not a glimmer in any one’s eye or plans for centuries to come 🙂 …it’s the story of 3 sailors on shore leave in New York City circa World War Two times. I’m reminded of it cause Wednesday marked the start of Fleet Week in NYC and I was lucky enough to see the parade of ships thanks to shooting a Better TV segment that morning (which by the way you can watch this Tuesday so check local listings for some summer backyard cleaning tips!).

But as serendipity would have it, following the shoot with Better’s host Audra Lowe, my always terrific bud both on and off the set, we went down to Battery Park and found a restaurant right on the Hudson at Wagner Park called Gigino’s where Doug and I planted ourselves with vino in hand to watch and toast the ships, sailors ‘n US Navy in general passing by.  It was truly an amazing sight seeing historic clippers and battleships complete with sailors lining the edges waving and appreciative folks like myself waving back, taking photos for keeping us safe….

Like many of my shore mates, it made me proud to be an American as did our taking a stroll afterwards

and seeing the soon to be completed Freedom Tower

WOW… No matter how much time has gone by since that tragic day: September 11, 2001 or  whether you are hundreds of yards away or simply hear the date it does and should evoke an incredibly array of emotions.  Wow, again…So as we start this unofficial summer kick-off and more importantly  Memorial Day Weekend honoring those whom have given their time, soul and life for our country, I repeat “New York, New York it’s a a helluva town” and wonderful too…. Spread the glove!

STEAMIN’, PREENIN’ AND ALL THINGS SPRING CLEANIN’

Happy 152 Pony Express Birthday!  Who’d have thunk horses would some day by left in the postal dust n dirt for email and tweeting!  Speaking of dust and dirt here I am rehearsing for a TV tour tomorrow with some terrific companies I’m working with to help us get rid of dust and dirt like:

  • Stanley Steemer whom I’ve now got on speed dial since I’ve also discovered they not only deep clean and sanitize carpets but also hardwood floors, upholstery, tile and grout,
  • My buds at TIDE and their oh so cool new single unit dose Tide Pods which are idiot and mess proof and can be used in a HE or non HE washing machine
  • LG and their new LG TurboWash Washing Machine which will save us 20 minutes per load EVEN on large loads …and with us averaging nearly 400 loads a laundry per year think about all the free time we’ll gain…LOVE THAT!

And, Chase’s Freedom card is gonna help us earn 5% back on up to $1500 through June when I shop for my spring cleaning supplies or anything else I buy at the grocery store.

Oh, yeah I’m also gonna get a makeover…Mobile Makeover that is courtesy of Radio Shack…where you can trade in your old working phone for anywhere from $30-300 instantly for store credit…Think it’s time to pony up and express myself with a new iPhone 4S!  … Hope you’ll tune in!

Spread the glove!

MARC ANTHONY, WILLY NELSON ‘N I WANNA KNOW: DOES UNCLE SAM SPEAK PRADA?

I confess I have never done my taxes…not as in didn’t file them which will have the IRS  knocking on my door in about 30 seconds ‘n moi perhaps learning how to knit with my cell mate a la Martha Stewart‘. Nope, in years past I chose to have ‘professionals’  figure out how to give Uncle Sam his fair share of my hard earned income.

And, when you think about it many famous folks like Marc AnthonyWillie Nelson; The Osbornes; and Ja Rule  Slide10.aspx have tried to decide what they think is fair and have not faired well. But, as one of my all time fave performers James Taylor reminds us “You can run, but you can not hide” : 

And, though he was talking about love, the IRS -damn them-eventually finds us whether we’re in New Jersey, Beverly Hills or sippin Pina Coladas on a beach in the tax-free Caymans.

Anyway, this year I’m doing most of the work since like 99.9% of us, I’m trying to cut back on my expenses.  So no more lawyer like accounting firm with 15 partners letting the meter run even when they’re boasting about THEIR kids. Yup this year it’s mostly me.  As a result, I now understand why so many accountants are bald as I’m pulling my hair out and rubbing my head simulaneously trying to  figure out where the hell my money went and how to organize all this s…t 🙂  

It’s truly a humbling experience and made me feel a bit like Rebecca Bloomwood from the best selling book and fun albeit silly movie: Confessions of a Shopaholic which I coincidentally watched last weekend.  The movie starred Isla fisher.  For those who’ve neither read nor seen it, the title pretty much says it all…’cept for girl meets very rich handsome boy whom is her boss, they fall in love, girl lies to him then joins Shoppers Anonoymous, and boy recounts cause afterall love conquers all particularly in the movies…The End.

Anyway, trivial as the movie was it did make me realize how we can easily let things get out of control with our finances…And, in her case with her credit cards which launched her path to becoming a shopoholic at the ripe ole age of 7…

Fast forward 20 years she takes a job at a place where she is asked to help other people save money by writing a financial column.  Clearly in over her head, she decides to relate buying investments to buying shoes…quite an analogy but one that works and her column becomes a huge success…as i said this was a silly albeit fun movie/book.  So as I have been working on my taxes all well and about to loose it, I decided to take to writing this blog hoping it will help me sort through all this stuff.  And, in the spirit of Rebecca’s debut column, I am going forth and approaching doing and organizing my taxes as I would do my closet:  One line item and one pair of shoes, pants and shopping bags at a time labeled: ‘Drop 10’ (as in pounds and bills); Discard (cut the excess) and Donate (an always tax deduction)!    So there I confess and hope Uncle Sam speaks Prada too!  Spread the glove! 

LIFTIN’ N LIGHTIN’ UP WITH LONG LOST DEBBIE BOONE

There I was earlier today, lying in bed not having to rush off since it was Saturday and my son’s at his father’s for the weekend so no ‘mom’ what’s for breakfast nor business calls to make.  Nope ‘twas just my remote and me.  So after watching the news, which is always filled with uplifting stories NOT, I decided to surf the channels and find something to lift my spirits given my ‘free’ time.   And, who’d have thunk that I would stumble upon a cable show called Lifestyle Lift!  Seemed like just what the doctor ordered since I’ve been going through some challenging times lately, re-examining what I want to be when I grow up and where since this fall my son’s off to college and for the first time in my life I will be truly all by my lonesome.  Just ‘lil ole me to tend to 24/7 since sadly my parents passed away in the last few years as did my pooch…Yup, I’m gonna be an empty nester which actually is very exciting and given me a new lift on life.  In fact, I’m making a major lifestyle change:  this Momma bird is flying South and into a new nest once I sell my hacienda up yonder…that or I’ll be driving a taxi at nite to pay two mortgages.

Anyway, back to the scheduled paid program Lifestyle Lift…I thought it was going to share how to deal with life changing events like mine or things like a new baby, divorce, financial stuff etc. No sirree!  There on the screen was a pix of a woman that looked like those always flattering driver photos we take that make us either look like a convict or 20 years older.  And, to really create the mood, in the background was this familiar oldie but goodie song playing that I couldn’t quite remember.  That was until I saw the host whom looked faintly familiar and then her name below:  Debbie Boone!  I thought she had gone into Witness Protection.  And, now there was Debbie, front and center asking me “Do you want to turn back the hands of time” …Hell yes! She had me; so I raised the volume up a bit to listen as she talked about wrinkles, frown lines, chicken neck and all things in between.  Then there was that song again only this time she began belting it out live: “You Light Up My Life”. 

I felt like I had tuned into an evangelical meeting! And, to complete the scene, sitting next to Debbie smiling from ear to ear was the woman in the pix, with a halo like glow about her looking 20 years younger (of course).  I was sure any moment she was going to jump off the couch and embrace Debbie shouting, “I believe! I believe! Look at me! Look at Me!

I gotta admit the ‘believer’ looked amazing as did the other woman and men who had what they claim is a non-surgical, no anesthesia required, affordable procedure (does that mean they have an easy payment plan like the As Seen On TV stuff I buy plus shipping and handling of me J).  So I took down the number 1-877-512-6665 (btw not sure it’s toll free) and as soon as I lift myself outta bed I’m gonna call it (yes I’m still in bed writing this!) and will share what I learn…Hmm I wonder if when I’m put on hold they play “You Light Up My Life” or they’ve changed it to “You Lift Up My Life”… could be a comeback for Debbie whom by the way looks terrific…. wonder if she’s seen the ‘light’ and had it done too.  I’ll also let you know if they do butt or boob lifts LOL. Spread the glove!

FROM NYC TO NO PLACE TO GO BUT MARS ‘N BETTER TV

Been a ‘better’ few days…so to speak…this week.  For one, i ppeared on BETTER TV with my bud and it’s co-host Audra Lowe.  

home–amp–garden2-home–amp–garden-cleaning-secrets

I always love ‘spreading my glove’ of housewifely wit ‘n wisdom  because of the folks on and off camera and particularly  Audra.  She and I bonded a few years back when she was having her first child and who is THE MOST adorable baby girl.  Audra is one of the real peeps in this world, she is incredibly genuine, always has a welcoming smile and put’s being a human being before anything else.  And, though we see each other half a dozen times a year, when we do it’s like seeing an old friend you’ve grown up with and  seems like no time has passed when we reconnect.  

The other ‘better’ part of the week was that my buds at MamaDramaNY once again invited me to see a quirky yet incredibly timely one man show called “NO PLACE TO GO” at the Public Theatre in NYC…It’s a clever and irreverant musical journey starring Ethan Lipton who is also the show’s creator, writer and chief bottle washer (kidding).  The show’s premise is that Ethan’s company is relocating from New York to Mars…yes Mars and Ethan really doesn’t want to go…can you blame him? But what I enjoyed most about it aside from the scruffy Woody Allen meets Dylan with a better voice Ethan and the amazing base, guitar and sax trio behind him, (forgive I know this is a run on sentence and my college English professor would kill me!) was how he balanced the woes of the economy, politics and personal angst in an entertaining and uplifting way with lines like “Anxiety is just excitement in disguise” to lyrics/songs like “Three Tear Plan” which literally is about his plan to ‘cry, weep, then go to sleep”….

to LOL songs like “Shit Storm Coming”.  

Both funny and philosophical, No Where to Go was tons ‘better’ and far more original then many shows I’ve seen on THE GREAT WHITE WAY so please make your way to this limited run production and support Public Theatre in NY at Joe’s Pub if you’re in town…Food and drinks were terrif there too! Spread the glove! 



I LOVE LUCY, ELLEN DEGENERES, ‘N JCP’S NEW ADS!

I am a huge fan of Ellen Degeneres and have been since her days right before, during and after her ‘coming out of her closet” TV show “ELLEN’ ran from 1994-1998.   She’s funny, bold, smart, sexy in her Ellen D kinda way and I love the joy she gets out of doing her second fave thing ‘dancing’!  

Unfortunately, as a working mom i don’t get to tune in to her current afternoon talk show unless my son or I am home sick, but I did catch her new spots for JC Penney which are a hoot!  They’re really clever and not your same ole retail store ads. For those who haven’t seen them they take Ellen back in time to Ancient Rome to return a toga, to Edwardian London to buy a hat a la My Fair Lady and my personal favorite is when she finds herself in a Lucille Ball like 50’s bedroom setting talking about having to get to store sale at 6 am.  

As much as I’m a huge Ellen fan, I am a huge Lucille Ball fan.  I love how she was always trying to find ways to improve her life while trying to balance home, family, marriage, friendships and a career …sound familiar!!   Thought clearly much funnier then I, I have often been compared to her particularly by my X for my ‘off the wall’ housewifely antics. . . hmm and which in retrospect might have been one of the nicest compliments I got from him 🙂  That said, my accidental housewifely antics and the pink with black ‘n white polka dot gloves I wear in particular are my way of paying homage to her. Any way, seeing Ellen’s spot reminded me of an I Love Lucy excerpt from my book “The Ultimate Accidental Housewife: Your Guide to a Clean Enough House” which I thought i’d share with you as we begin to think about spring cleaning or have a sloppy man or child (who doesn’t!) in your home:

In one episode called “Men are Messy”, Lucy decides to teach Ricky a lesson since she’s tired of him constantly messing up their living room.  

She starts by divindng their apratment into his messy half and her neater half. Then, she takes it a step further by turning their home inta a real pigsty.  What she doesn’t know is that Ricky was bringing home a photographer from LOOK magazine to do a feature about their home and them! Ricky and the photographer enter their home to discover clotheslines hanging in the living room, chickens flying around and garbage everywhere.  And, to top it off, Lucy and her best bud Ethel are dressed in flannel shirts and overalls preparing to  ‘hunt’ for a black bear in Lucy’s bedroom. The photographer took pictures of all this and the good news was, Lucy made it on LOOK’s cover.  The bad news was it showed a shot of Lucy with her bear!   I guess the moral of this story is ” Men are messy so you to bear with them”…LOL! 

By the way I think the next time travel spot JC Penney should have Ellen spoof  is the Doris Day classic “Please Don’t Eat the Daisies” …

That’s fair and square” don’t you think??

Spread the glove!

AAAHHS, TEARS ‘N TATOOS FROM THE MOTHER- HOOD:)

Bittersweet kinda day today…Went to Luke’s school this morning since they wanted to take photos of him signing his letter of acceptance to Bucknell University which he’ll be attending in the fall and tears came to my eyes (and continue as i write this).

Though more then proud of him and that he’ll be going to a terrif school and for him, more importantly, he’ll be the king fish on their golf team, but for me it’s pretty black and white : My not so little boy is leaving the nest…As parents we always know someday our kids will leave…someday which seems soooo so far away. Then wham bam thank you mam the years go by and they’ve gone from diapers to departing for college…And, a flood of emotions and snapshots are unleashed…And, for me one shot came to mind of Luke and I sitting in an empty kiddie pool in our backyard, reading books and laughing that simple wonderful pure, special moment kinda laugh.

One pix worth 1000 words 🙂

Another thing came to mind too…I think i’ve shared i’m divorced but fortunately Luke’s dad and i have a terrific relationship (at least if you ask me, he might have a different take!) What I haven’t shared is that he’s an amazing lyricist who wooed me during our courtship with a song that to this day remains unfinished …hmmm 🙂  At any rate last Mother’s Day he and his partner wrote an amazing song “Motherhood“. It captured then and even more so now so many of the feelings I’m experiencing and I suspect many of you will relate no matter what your child’s age is .  And, yes have some hankies within reach cause it’s gonna pull at your heartstrings in a really good way.

And, now here he is all grown up, shaving, driving, towering over me, mom and dad no longer the only centers of his universe.  He does still on occasion hug me and tell me how much he appreciates and loves me without prodding nor when he needs money so long as none of his peers are around.  And, though he’ll probably want to disown me for saying this –every nite I still go into his room (if the door’s not closed and he’s facebooking all is buds) to give him a kiss good nite.

I know a lot of parents sorta look forward to their kids leaving .  And, though I won’t necessarily miss being overloaded with his laundry; searching for his bedroom floor since it’s covered in a meritage of clothes, shoes and stuff i prefer remain anonymous (much more pleasant way to describe it and makes me think of wine me not ‘whine’ about it LOL); nor his shouting ‘mom there’s nothinng in this house to eat’… I’m gonna miss Luke BIG time …To quote Agatha Christie  “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world”. I need not say more…

So exito stage right for moi …i’m done for now… Bird‘s gotta fly and so do i …actually I’m also leaving the nest and flying south but that’s another’s day blog!  Thanks for letting me ramble,  feel free to do so back.  And, here’s the signing pix with all and Dan Brown, Athletic Coach (standing behind me). Proud we all be!! But we miss Coach Aug mucho!!

Go Bucko! Missin' the kiddie pool 🙂

And, thanks H for Luke  and a song that is tatooed on my heart. xo

Spread the glove !